In my journal entry on Friday, I wrote a big whine about how my progress with The Flower Queen’s Daughter was going. It isn’t really relevant except I was asked in chat what I wrote about in my journal. I replied that I usually use it for ranting, whining, and thinking out loud about what I’m working on, how my process is working or not and ways I can improve as a writer.
Just the question sparked a tangent in the second part of the entry where I was still thinking about how I was approaching this story and writing in general. The following is excerpted from that entry with minimal editing.
It’s funny when people ask me what I write about in my journal and I come out with one of my “big think day topics” or even just say that I’m thinking out loud about my story and what’s working and what isn’t and I’m surprised by how impressed they sound. Don’t other writers think about what they’re doing? Maybe they don’t or maybe it’s just that they don’t write their thoughts down. I certainly didn’t do either when I tried this back in college. I just sat down and started writing words down. I didn’t think about things like conflict, or scenes or anything like that or even plot.
I know my writing has improved since then, but I often find myself paralyzed by insecurity and indecision. I need to push through that and not worry so much about getting things wrong, I just need to write something down. It’s much easier to fix something you can see, than something that’s just wisping around in your head.
Writing doesn’t exist until you put it on the page. This is not performance art we’re talking about where it’s only experienced once in the moment. This also isn’t sculpture in stone. This is malleable and evolving art form. Nothing’s written in stone until it’s in print and even then, small changes can be made in subsequent editions.
In any case, I need to stop worrying and just write. It really doesn’t matter if it sucks. It’s all a learning process. Everything can be improved until it’s released out into the world. I won’t be judged on the early drafts. DH will only send me back to rewrite it if it sucks, but he won’t think less of me because of it. I just need to keep on rollin’.
So, which side of the line do you fall? Do you feel you over-analyze everything or do you just write as it all comes to you never looking back? Or have you managed to find a happy medium?
I have a pretty active internal editor, but I’m working on and learning to turn it off when I’m writing. I don’t always succeed, but it’s something I’m getting better and better at.
Some characters I really have to plot out in my head very precisely. Others flow. Sometimes the flow is swift, sometimes not so much. The most recent post I had was spot on for the first half. Two brothers, older one who is about to be married, younger one and his mate. The convo is light but with a serious undertone about something important that recently happened. It totally flowed. Required few edits.
The second half of the post was like pulling teeth. It was about commitment, and it was difficult to get right. I’m still not sure I’ve conveyed it correctly. My usual sounding board went to St. Louis for a bachelorette party so I’m sweating the post a little, but I don’t think I’m off much if at all. I just worry more because it didn’t flow and I had to plan it more precisely.
When I have a post done, I probably edit it a 6 times because I’ll do it the first time in Word for what’s obviously messed up grammatically. Then I read it again to see if something needs clarifying or changing. Next, is a third read for grammar with the changed verbiage. I check it a few times in the posting window too. I’m anal about it. Often, if something really isn’t working, isn’t right, during one of the 6 edits, I will catch it and rework it.
I try not to second guess myself as I write. I try to commit it to the page and then let my editing process take up the slack.
Sadly, I (frustratingly) over-internalize. It’s a case of liking too much of what I see on the table to actually eat–to fit in my tummy.
I had a sad tendency to make things harder and more difficult than they should be. I want to think things out like you do, because I know I do better when I have a goal to write towards–but, man. If only I could forstale the tummy growls while I was at table and picking out what I want to eat…
If friggin ONLY.
you know why people are surprised? It’s because they don’t think things through and they’re surprised when someone does. Despite craft books, despite classes–people ask questions about the same thing over and over because they listen, but they don’t hear.
It’s a specialized skill.
Yes, when people start out they write, and simply use their available knowledge base, but to write and get somewhere, unless you have that “it”, requires dedication to learning. Like any other subject, you need to learn the “how and why” before you can do.
Thinking is part of the learning process. For a lot of people it’s hard. When I first started out, I did a lot of whining–why do “I” have to learn to layer, fix my mechanics, think about logic? I was following conventions, y’know–h/h meet, have hot thoughts, have hot sex/ think about hot sex. The story was just a backdrop to move the sex.
Damn glad I met Gina.
She talked me into “thinking”.
I still think a lot, still read craft books because they spark new ways of looking at things. Can I write and think? Uhm…not really, I have to wait until it all goes subliminal and trust that what’s working like a virus scan in the background is really what I need to get where I’m going.
You can slot the thinking into the slow times, like when you’re driving, or other stuff. I do a lot of driving right now, and it’s giving me lots of time to think.
It frees up time to write.