A Regency Round-Up on Valentine’s Day

Regency Valentine: Oldest mailed Valentine's card from 1790, now at British Postal Museum. — This handmade puzzle card is from 1790, now kept at the British Postal Museum, is not for sale. Text on face of the card reads:
“My dear the Heart which you behold,
Will break when you the same unfold,
Even so my heart with lovesick pain,
Sure wounded is and breaks in twain.”

There isn’t a lot of information available regarding how Valentine’s Day was celebrated in the early 19th Century. Most Regency Valentine’s cards (mostly handmade love letters) were considered ephemera and not held onto except in rare circumstances. You’ll notice I didn’t title this post as a primer, because I didn’t feel I could speak on the topic with much authority. I could have gone with the language of flowers for today’s topic, but many others have done that as well, and I didn’t feel it was limited to Valentine’s Day as it is now.

The commercialization of Valentine’s Day, as well as Christmas, can be laid at the feet of the Victorians. Industrialization was in full-swing and mass production of cards and trinkets was easier and cheaper than ever before. The Regency swains would have had to be much more resourceful, personal and creative to present their sweethearts with something memorable. Lucky, ladies! However, in the early 19th century, it wasn’t just the upper class that was sending notes and tokens of love and affection to their sweethearts, but something that was done across all classes.

Regency Valentine: Oldest printed Valentine's Day Card from 1797. — The oldest “printed” card was published in January 1797 by John Fairburn of 146, Minories, London. The text around the edge reads:
"Since on this ever Happy day,
All Nature’s full of Love and Play
Yet harmless still if my design,
‘Tis but to be your Valentine."

Instead of distilling many similar posts down today, I’m going to link you directly to the sources I would have used in penning today’s primer.

Ruth Axtell’s Reflections on Valentine’s Day at the Christian Regency blog

Bronwen Evans’ A Regency Valentine’s Day on her blog

Elaine Golden’s Getting Ready for Valentine’s Day? post at GoodReads

Amanda McCabe/Laurel McKee’s Valentine’s Day! post at Risky Regencies

Loretta Chases’ Valentine’s Day in the early 19th century at Two Nerdy History Girls

Susan Holloway Scott’s post A Father Warns Against the “Depravity” of Valentines at Two Nerdy History Girls

Wishing you a happy Valentine’s Day!

Why I Love Historical Romance

Last week in my accountability group’s HOW I WRITE series, we talked about 3 Things I Love About My WIP. This week we’re talking about why we write in a particular genre and what attracted us to it. Also, we were asked if we like to read any genres we don’t or can’t write? Why? And would we like to try a different genre? I’ve already answered the “Why Romance” question, but I’m not sure I’ve ever covered Why Write Historical Romance, and Regency Romance in specific.

What attracted me to Historical Romance?

I grew up reading a variety of historical romances pilfered from my mom’s stash: Kathleen Woodiwiss, Kat Martin, Rosemary Rogers, Shirlee Busbee, Virginia Henley, Johanna Lindsey, and many, many, more. I’ll freely admit I was looking for escapism and a bit of the bodice ripping excitement promised by the covers. It was a slightly different kind from what I was finding in Science Fiction and Fantasy in that this was real world stuff, not wholly made up! Westerns/Colonial American, Medievals, Regencies… all were fair game. I never read the contemporary romances then. Probably because they all had boring object covers instead of those wildly passionate clinches.

So why settle into the Regency Era?

The romantic notions like titles and balls, the escapist fantasy, the slower/different pace of life, the layers and intrigue in the rules of society. The descriptions of men’s fashions, especially the mysteries revealed when a man removes his cravat. While I love me some eye-candy, there’s something to be said for leaving things to your imagination too.

They’d also just done away with the powdered wigs, patches, and panniers of the Georgian Era. Nasty stuff. Not practical and not attractive. Medievals were too much fantasy compared to the historical reality of fleas, sandy grit in the bread, women being literal property. In the Regency that last hadn’t changed legally, but the authors were showing their heroines more as partners than dependents. Victorian Era was too hypocritical for me in many of its attitudes around sex. I never really got into Edwardian Era books because anytime they drive up in a car or the phone rings, my immersion is shattered. Yes, I love Downton Abbey, but yup, the phone and the cars were jarring at first there too. I suspect my problem is more with books where the setting isn’t firmly established in the beginning and those things sneak up on me.

What else do I read besides Historical Romance?

What don’t I? The most represented genres on our shelves (well, the ones *I* read anyway) include Science Fiction, Fantasy, Young Adult, some Contemporary Romance, some Romantic suspense, historical time travel, a handful of chick lit mysteries, and a selection of urban fantasy. Again, it’s usually the escapist aspect that draws me to these genres, something removed from my ordinary world.

If not Historical Romance, what else would I try to write?

Maybe contemporary romance, Urban Fantasy or some fantasy, but it’d probably be flavored in some way by the historical aspect and it’d likely still have lots of romantic elements. But for now, I’m focused on finishing the current crop of characters in my head who all reside firmly in Regency London.

And if you’d like to read more about what’s got the rest of the group excited about their genres, you can find their blogs here:

* Alexia Reed * Kimberly Farris*
* Angeleque Ford * Danie Ford * Emma G. Delaney *

Your Turn: What’s YOUR favorite genre of book to read and why?

3 Things I LOVE About My WIP

Last week in my accountability group’s HOW I WRITE series, we talked about 5 Steps from Dreams to Completed Goals. This week’s topic is “Share at least 3 things you like, love, enjoy, make you excited to work on your current project.” So for anyone out there who doesn’t know what a WIP is, it’s a “Work In Progress”.

I’ve got two projects I’ve been ping-ponging back and forth on. Both are Regency-set Historical Romances and include some of the same characters (the heroes are best friends). I just love the feeling of immersion you get when an author builds a universe for you and you get to bump into old friends or enemies every so often. Anyway, I’m thinking mostly about BENEATH HIS TOUCH (BHT) more than REVEALED this days, but I suspect that’s about to switch as I have a lot more word count going on BHT and the story feels more complete. It needs polish and some slight remodeling, whereas Revealed needs some serious foundation work in order to stand on its own at this point.

A photo of a model, who is filling the role of The Duke of Wyndham. — BHT's hero: James Wyndham,
the Duke of Bolster

A photo of Narayan Fergal O'Connor, who is standing in for the role of Viscount Barrington. — REVEALED's hero: Hugh Leighton,
the Viscount Barrington

1. The Heroes

Who wouldn’t be excited about these guys? Getting them to do whatever I want? Dressing them up in cravats? Bonus! Seriously though, it’s a lot of fun to work with the starchy Duke and the puckish Viscount. They’re an interesting pair to play off each other. Similar in certain aspects, but different as night and day in others. How’s a girl to choose between them?

2. The Escapism

Just getting out of my own head and into someone else’s can be a good thing. Yes, all things with moderation and all that. But being able to let go of the here and now and slip back 200 years to an era of elegance and romance, it’s relaxing and fun. Yeah, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. Besides, I get to do research on men in cravats so rewatching James Purefoy dressing as Beau Brummel totally counts.

3. The Romance

Ah, the romance! Looking at all the ways people can overcome the odds and find happiness with another person. Someone who is their best friend, someone who completes them. The HEA (Happily Ever After) is as predictable as the cops arresting the killer in a mystery, but exploring HOW that’s accomplished with their unique obstacles is the best part of each couple’s journey.

YOUR TURN: What are some things that have you excited about your current project? (Any type project is fine, it doesn’t have to be writing related at all!)

And if you’d like to read more about what’s got the rest of the group excited about their projects, you can find their blogs here:

* Alexia Reed * Kimberly Farris*
* Angeleque Ford * Danie Ford * Emma G. Delaney *

Love is in the air

Happy Valentine’s Day!

It’s time once again for hearts, chocolates, diamonds (no dear, that’s not a hint) and of course free reads from the Romance Divas, who have just wrapped up their third annual e-book challenge where the members are encouraged to write a story and put it up for free.

THE DIVAS E-BOOK CHALLENGE 2009 has some great stories by some fantastic people. Do yourself a favor and ~~run~~ click, don’t ~~walk~~ miss a chance to check out these stories. Stay in the Valentine’s mood! Enjoy a bit more romance!

BTW: if you missed the previous years’ editions: 2007 and 2008.

Love is in the air…

So… Tomorrow’s Valentine’s Day. I often wonder how someone like me who used to rejoice when the annual Black Hearts Ball rolled around on Feb 14th came to want to write romance?

Back in high school, I got dumped on Valentine’s Day. Yeah, a real kick in the teeth. I didn’t realize it at the time or for quite a while after, but he actually did me a favor. I would still be stuck in the middle of nowhere living a dead-end life doing a dead-end job to make ends meet and babysitting grandchildren already.

Instead, I went farther away from home to college. I had a bad attitude about the male half of the population and didn’t give any of them much credit. I harbored my share of fruitless crushes and enjoyed the vicarious love and relationships between the pages of every romance novel I got my hands on. Men? I liked ’em, but hadn’t met any yet.

Then, beginning of my senior year, sitting in my History of American Music class with my friend Qui doing our usual scoping to amuse ourselves instead of paying attention, when I spotted this new guy wearing thick nerdy plastic glasses, a ratty rust-colored corduroy jacket, shaggy hair and a raggy t-shirt sitting there taking serious notes (although now I suspect he was doodling). I forget what had me so down that day, but I remember thinking, “Ya know, with my luck, I’ll end up marrying someone like him.”

These days, I wonder at my good fortune! I think we still may owe the guy he ended up rooming with the next year a debt for making us sit down on a week before Valentine’s Day (no pressure there!) and come to a decision on why we weren’t a couple like everyone else already assumed.

The fall of my senior year was one of my worst. I was extremely depressed on many fronts and I had little patience for dealing with people. Finally, I realized this guy “wasn’t people”. I kept spending time in his company when I didn’t want to face anyone else. I would never finished my senior thesis without him either. The ethic of “if I have to work, so do you!” has lasted which is one reason I focus better during chat challenges knowing someone else is working as well.

Eighteen years later, we’re happy, comfortable and have lived in both interesting and hellish places. Our two kids may drive us crazy at times, but I don’t think we’d really try to return them at this point.

I admit I’m not good at celebrating people, but I believe there are people in our lives we are destined to meet and connect with. I’m just lucky I found mine and didn’t end up with a toad. I still enjoy reading romances because of the escape from everyday situations and glimpses at a slower lifestyle. As for writing romance, I want to discover what my characters can teach me about showing and sharing love more consciously.

Gender Differences

Male & Female Gender Symbols Last night, I was talking to DH about yesterday’s Thursday Thirteen. He made the mistake of asking what I thought of Dr. John Gray’s Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. We started off into a discussion about the types of love, but got derailed on Gray’s “point system” and how men and women view contributions around the house and to the relationship itself. We decided that the actual assignment of literal numbers was probably a bit far fetched, but the idea that women treated all contributions and gestures as equal where a man didn’t was probably a sound insight. It was also interesting that Gray noted that women would continue to contribute even after they felt they were “ahead in the game” where men would “coast” until they felt they were even again.

Also, reading over the comments from yesterday, I wanted to describe the types of love a bit more and explain how they related to each other. I also wanted to note that these are what Gray considers to be the primary needs for each sex and that it doesn’t mean you’re unusual because you appreciate ones from the other list more. Both sexes need all twelve types to be truly happy according to Gray.

Gray pairs the needs as shown below – the women’s needs feeding the man’s and vice versa. This makes sense to me because when I looked over them again, I’m not sure they’re as distinct as Gray makes them out to be. Only the first pair strikes me as having sufficiently different meanings. It could just be a “Martian/Venusian” translation issue (BTW, did I mention what a stupid metaphor I think that is?)

Women’s Primary Needs	Men’s Primary Needs
Caring – A woman likes to have interest shown for her feelings and heart-felt concern for her well-being, not a perfunctory, “How was you day?” while flipping on the television.	Trust – Men feel they are trusted when a woman has faith that he does his best and wants the best for her.
Understanding – She needs to feel he’s listening without judging to feel heard and understood (closely tied to validation).	Acceptance – He needs to feel she loves him the way he is and that he’s not an improvement project – she can trust him to make his own improvements.
Respect – She needs to feel that her thoughts and feelings are taken into consideration and her rights, wishes and needs are acknowledged.	Appreciation – Women can fulfill this need by acknowledging that she has personally benefited from his efforts and behavior.
Devotion – Women thrive when they feel adored and special – a man can fulfill this need when he makes her needs and feelings more important than his other interests – like work, study and recreation.	Admiration – Men gain security from their woman’s happy amazement of their unique characteristics and talents.
Validation – Women need to feel they have the right to feel the way they do without judgment, argument or dismissal.	Approval – This is acknowledges the goodness in the man and recognizes the good reasons behind what he does.
Reassurance – Women don’t stay satisfied once their primary needs have been met once, they need to be continually shown they are loved.	Encouragement – A woman can encourage a man to be all he can be by continually expressing confidence, in his abilities and character.

The trick will be illustrating how these needs are and are not met and how that adds to the conflict or resolution between the main characters in a romance plot. One flaw that Gray pointed out was that men and women tend to give the type of love that they want to receive, but the other side doesn’t know how to accept it, or because it doesn’t address a primary need, they’re not as appreciative of it.

I have tried to be more aware of the differences, but it’s a bit too touchy-feeling for us to make a serious study of the book and try to follow to the letter. I think some of the concepts are beneficial in real life, but I suspect I’ll gain more benefit from this book in how I look at and sketch out the characters.

Thursday Thirteen: Loving Ways

I’ve been reading Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex by Dr. John Gray lately. The metaphor is absurd, but the logic and insights behind it are sound. I picked it up on a whim to see some concrete examples of the different ways that men and women communicate and react to emotional intimacy — very cool book in that respect. I’ve already gotten several ideas on how to improve the conflict between characters and various ideas on how to better show the growing romance between a hero and a heroine and some of the obstacles they may be setting up for themselves.

13 Ways to Show and Need Love

We think of these as ways that women show love, but they are also the ways in which they feel and recognize that they are loved. A woman’s ability to love is recharged when she feels these needs are being met.

1. Caring
2. Understanding
3. Respect
4. Devotion
5. Validation
6. Reassurance

Men recognize love when they are on the receiving end of these types of affection.

7. Trust
8. Acceptance
9. Appreciation
10. Admiration
11. Approval
12. Encouragement

13. Hot Monkey (more than ’nuff said)
What? You didn’t think I would/could be completely serious did you?

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

1 Lorelei James	2 Ava Rose Johnson	3 R.G. Alexander	4 Amelia June
5 Gina Ardito	6 Cassandra Curtis	7 Jane E. Jones	8 Savannah Chase
9 Susan Helene Gottfried	10 Kelly McCrady	11 Alice Audrey	12 DD Mills
13 vixen	14 Sandra Schwab	15 Morgan St. John	16 Carrie Lofty
17 Unusual Historicals	18 Jennifer McKenzie	19 frustrated writer	20

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

Thursday Thirteen: You Go, Girl!

13 Things I Learned From
Romance Heroines

1. Always make sure your slippers and reticule match your gown.
2. Corsets weren’t worth the trouble, the best heroes like real women with curves too.
3. True love always conquers all, even if you didn’t recognize it at first.
4. Men like to be argued with — it catches their attention better than simpering.
5. That feisty old lady with the cane? Listen to her, she’s the brains of the bunch!
6. Alpha males can be tamed, housebroken and taught new tricks!
7. It’s not a house party until someone is forced to get engaged!
8. The best scents to wear are lemons, roses and lavender.
9. The best men smell like soap, sandalwood and linen.
10. Curling irons have only slightly improved in 200 years.
11. Phaetons, Porches — same difference. It’s all about the horsepower.
12. The man who appears to be your worst match is likely the best, unless he’s the villain.
13. Your toes will only curl for the right man, and they’ll curl every time, ifyaknowhattamean.

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

1 Seeley deBorn	2 Rhonda Stapleton	3 Paige Tyler	4 Jennifer Shirk
5 Morgan St. John	6 Jennifer McKenzie	7 Heather	8 Gina Ardito
9 Debora	10 Tempest Knight	11 Unusual Historicals	12 Carrie Lofty
13 Susan Helene Gottfried	14 Kate Willoughby	15 Savannah Chase	16 Debbie Mumford

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Brainstorm: GMC & Hero’s Journey

Mountain Peak in Antarctica I’ve been pondering and trying to make some more headway on that story about the Food Critic and the Chef that I brainstormed in Building Tension and Food Porn or Romance?. I hate my original outline. The story doesn’t go anywhere yet. It rambles along, but doesn’t have purpose or any promising structure. Below, I’ve tried to change that by examining the heroine’s GMC (goal, motivation and conflict) and attempting to map out her hero’s journey.

GMC: The heroine likes recognition and really wants to achieve a feeling of belonging. She lives the life of an outsider, never really becoming a part of any group in a meaningful way. Her life is empty in many ways and she seeks ways to fill it. However, she’s looking in the wrong place: she needs personal fulfillment, not just career fulfillment.

Hero’s Journey: Francine’s ORDINARY WORLD is that of the café society. She eats out most nights avoiding her empty fridge and her empty apartment. She has made a career out of this lifestyle and made something of a name for herself as a food critic. She meets her first GATE GUARDIAN who also acts as a HERALD when Francine’s reservations to the hot new restaurant in town are lost. She fails to cross that threshhold and instead reluctantly ANSWERS A CALL TO ADVENTURE when she’s forced out of her comfort zone and finds a small cozy restaurant off the beaten path.

She’s TESTED in the restaurant when a clumsy waiter dumps soup on her and she must face the chef if she wants to leave with her cleaning bill paid. The waiter acts as an ALLY and accompanies her into the kitchen.

Francine spends time becoming familiar with the benefits of working closely with family and in a small, close-knit environment on her APPROACH THE INMOST CAVE where she runs into a rival critic, who recognizes her and threatens to expose her to the café society, clearly an ENEMY.

After crossing a second threshold into a world of shifting loyalties, she faces her SUPREME ORDEAL where she’s forced to choose between standing by her professional honor and integrity or submitting an overly glowing review of the hero’s restraurant – a decision from which, there is no going back.

She decides to stand by her beliefs and also takes possession of her REWARD, the blossoming relationship between her and the hero and a sense of belonging she gains by helping reshape and relaunch his restaurant. Her outlook is buoyed by the chance to start building a life of her own with what could be the man of her dreams. Unfortunately, the hero’s not too pleased by the honest review.

Her editor and her rival critic nip at her heels threatening to take away her hard-won reputation and posing a danger to her relationship with the hero on THE ROAD BACK .

She crosses a third threshold, leaving her editor’s office, and experiences a RESURRECTION, and is transformed when she quits her job for the paper and strikes out on her own. She RETURNS WITH THE ELIXIR realizing that she is recognized as a part of the hero’s ORDINARY WORLD, his restaurant and his life.

It’s still pretty rough, but seems better than my rougher outline. Any suggestions, comments, and criticisms are welcome. Just no rotten fruit, please.

Sentiment vs Sentimentality

Romantic Couple Holding Hands I’ve been thinking about this for a while now. In one of the craft books I was reading there was a whole section on the topic. The idea was that sentiment is sincere, honest emotion and sentimentality is a pre-packaged emotional bundle.

Clichés become clichés because too many people see the usefulness in the pre-packaged emotions. Unfortunately, once this tactic is recognized, the reader/viewer resists the stale emotional call, and is liable to react unfavorably toward the author/screenwriter.

I hate it when I feel manipulated by an otherwise good movie or book. It always feels like the screenwriter or author took the easy way out. Why substitute good honest emotions for the equivalent of a canned laugh track? The trick, I think, is recognizing when you’re about to do this yourself and reach deeper to find the truth in the situation and expose it for your audience.

It’s intimidating to think of writing about love and trying to avoid the clichés when everything has been said and done before. The best will find a fresh way to present it and a new perspective of looking at how we relate to each other and the inner turmoil experienced as we fall in love.

Which category my writing will fall under is still to be discovered. I know which I’m going to be striving toward, but I’m sure the early pieces will tend to slip toward the path of least resistance. This is going to be interesting as I try to explore feelings between made up people that I often find difficulty expressing in my own life. I never did think that this was going to be THAT easy.

Tag: Love

A Regency Round-Up on Valentine’s Day

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